Am…musings

Trooper’s been on a home visit with an awesome couple since last Friday, the 19th.

She called a week ago to ask if they could continue the visit to see how he did while they were at work. I haven’t heard a peep since.

I’m hoping no news is good news. And I know I should just pick up the phone and check in, but I’m scared. I miss him, but I don’t want him back. (I’ve also picked out new living room furniture that I’m going to buy when the adoption is final, and I really want to order it!)

Keep your fingers crossed, please.

I believe in the power of thought … positive thoughts bring positives into your life … negative thought — not so good. When I read that I should make a list of the qualities I wanted in an ideal mate … thus I would attract such a mate … a list I made.

I’d like to keep some things private, but here are a few of the highlights …
• Kind
• Smart
• Patient
• Respectful of my dreams
• A true partner

In line with my power-of-thought belief, I try to stay positive about my “Match-capades” and other online-dating adventures. I’ve met a few … ok several … doosies in the year I’ve been on Match.com, but I try to think of them in terms of funny stories to tell friends … and maybe someday … the grandkids. I also look at them as opportunities to learn and refine the list.

Unfortunately, in the past seven days, I’ve uncovered three additions … one good, one funny and one that I thought would have been a given.

1. The good … confident. This is something, as an outsider, you just can’t fix. A person has to find confidence on their own and while I feel badly about pulling the plug, I’d rather not be part of the process.
2. The funny … not named Herb. (Here’s the post-date update …. He called and left a message. I called back and left a message. He called back … no message. And I’m thinking that’s the best I can do because I know in the end … as foolish as it is … I can’t get past it.)
3. The one I thought would have been a given … single/available. He lives out of town (thus really no big expectations) and came clean after about two weeks of e-mailing, but sadly after all … a girl gets her hopes up at hello.

In my book, looks aren’t everything, but there’s no denying attraction is required for a relationship to be more than friendship.

I’ve sung the praises of Match.com … not because I’ve found true love … yet, but because it has helped me get past the obstacle of figuring out where to meet men.

However, Match is a unique beast when it comes to attraction. Instead of meeting someone in the flesh, you meet them in cyberspace, where attraction, rather than being revealed instantly, is slowly unraveled. It starts with his profile (and picture). Then it’s e-mails/IMs. A phone call usually, but not always, follows. The final step is meeting in person. Face to face, I’ve found, is the only way to really know for certain if the attraction is there.

My problem … as I told my friend Cory about eight months ago when he told me not to get my hopes up over a guy that was jacking me around … girls get their hopes up at hello. (At least I think it’s all girls, but maybe it’s me. Ladies?)

Unfortunately, with some guys it can take weeks (with one it took a month!) to transition from e-mailing/IMing to meeting in person. By then, I’m always a little invested. And when it doesn’t work, I’m a lot deflated … even if it’s me that doesn’t feel the attraction (as it was today).

I think most would agree … toddlers aren’t quite as adorable as the doll-babies I pictured earlier. But when I bought the cute outfits for Ella and Rachael on Etsy, I also found the coolest t-shirt for Braedon, Ella’s cutie brother. Here he is … although he’s not modeling his T, but he is doing a fun science project with his daddy!

The shirt was from Toddler Virtues …

A firm believer in all of Toddler Virtues’ virtues … especially “tolerance” (the shirt pictured and the one I snagged for little Braedon) … I really appreciate this Etsy seller’s mission. The shirt was also very well made and the customer service was excellent.

I don’t have a ton of toddlers in my life so I can only buy so many and want to spread the word. And please, if you haven’t shopped all the other vendors on Etsy, check it out!

Because my neighbor Marsha and our friend Kelly did a supreme job of making me feel guilty …. because I’m an optimist … and mostly because I believe God plays jokes on us occasionally, I met Match-Herb for drinks tonight.

I was hoping for an ogre. He isn’t. He’s also a very, very nice guy. And nice absolutely makes a difference in my book.

Of course, I did have a good giggle on the phone with Marsha on the way to Harpos where Herb and I met. Also, hysterical laughing ensued during my drive home as I thought about H-E-R-B. And … I grinned all the way to the bathroom after the cute guy at the table next to us asked me (while Match-Herb was in the bathroom) if we were on a first date and for some reason I felt the need to share my name dilemma. (And here I’ll interject with another Damn It … where the heck are the cute boys asking me questions when I’m not on a date??? And couldn’t Match-Herb have taken a little longer to get back from the bathroom so the cute boy and I could have talked longer? Seriously?!?)

Despite the laughter (and the cute boy), I kind of like you-know-who. But, obviously, I’m still a little hung up on the name. Now what?

*Keith (and Jadea who noticed Keith’s funny comment), the rogue “n” the title is just for you!

Sure … there are the obvious reasons why I’d like a man in my life … opening jars, reaching things on high shelves, cleaning gutters*, among other things I won’t mention here because one of my co-workers cringed when I just mentioned kissing in the Match-Herb post.

Sopping up my basement last weekend in the wake of Ike’s remnants – and in the process, assembling a wet/dry vac all by myself – got me thinking along these lines. It also reminded me of the thing that makes me feel most alone in my aloneness … folding sheets.

In my family of three, two of us always folded sheets together. While I’m pretty independent and, as I’ve mentioned before, subscribe to the belief that it will happen when it’s meant to, not having someone here to help me fold sheets makes me … just plain lonely.

*P.S. Thanks to Dad-Herb for cleaning my gutters before the deluge.

Twice this week, I see a couple walking with their dog. The first time, my smug, slightly competitive side says, “they are walking awfully slowly.” The second time, I realize their route is an enormous circle – I imagine twice as long as my normal two-mile walk.

My competitive side kicks in again and I decide I, too, can walk this circle. Today was the day.

I feel good about a quarter mile past my normal half-way point when it dawns on me … the rest of the circle is REALLY far (no wonder that darn couple is walking so slow!). I look for a street that cuts through … my competitive side rationalizes that the meandering couple must have some sort of shortcut; they can’t walk all night, right?

I find a street and feel good about where I’m headed, but my sense of direction is definitely un-MacGyver-like. A bit later, after seeing the same street name a few times, I realize I’m completely lost in a twisty, curvy subdivision.

With my stomach growling and an old blister from my first few walks in my new shoes twinging, I’m thinking of my options. It seems pathetic to call my parents who are about 20 minutes away. I feel bad bothering my neighbors – especially when I’m not sure how to tell them to find me.

Then it occurs to me … my nifty iPhone has GPS-like capability. I pull it up, punch the “locate me” button and voila … a map to get me out of this maze.

How cool is that? (Although I have to say it’d be much cooler if it cooked breakfast and prevented my old blister and a fresh new one from howling by the time I limped home.)

Of course, even with my circles in the neighborhood, I doubt I walked as far as the slow couple … definitely not MacGyver like at all!

Match.com is a fairly anonymous place. Some people include their first or last name in their screen name, but it’s not common.

I recently received a wink from hrad—. His profile was interesting so I sent him an e-mail. Turns out … much to my dismay … the “h” stands for Herb.

Before you go accusing me of having something against the Herbs of the world, let me say … my dad’s name is Herb.

My dad is a lovely man and a great dad, but … Herb? It’s not like Bob or Mike … I don’t really know any other Herb’s and I’m not sure I’m ready to date one.

After several days of waffling I got over it enough to return Match-Herb’s e-mail. He replied with his phone number (typical for guys who don’t like to type). It took a few more days and LOTS of friendly goading from my neighbor to call him.

He seems nice and we had a fairly good conversation, but honestly, I can’t stop laughing every time I think about H-E-R-B. Sending him e-mails … dialing his number … writing this post. I start to giggle and eventually I’m hysterically laughing … the kind of laughing that make you feel a little silly if you’re doing it all by yourself.

Of course, if I could limit the laughing to when I’m alone, it might be ok, but I’m thinking the giggles may become uncontrollable if Match-Herb and I go on a date. And I’m pretty sure I AM NOT going to be able to kiss him.

Yeah, I think this one might be doomed from the start.

Today I spotted a photo my friend Keith posted on his family blog. It was of his adorable daughter Ella in an adorable outfit yours truly sent to celebrate her birth (even though in typical fashion I sent it like four months after she was born) …

I decided to use the photo as an excuse to write about an awesome site. It’s called Etsy and it’s “a place for buying and selling all things handmade.”

I love arts and crafts and for that reason, I adore this site. It supports artisans (they are individual sellers that pay Etsy a reasonable fee) and allows me to buy really cool things.

When I bought Ella’s outfit I also bought one for my friend Natalie’s new daughter Rachel …

This seller is Bella Claire Baby and I highly recommend them … the clothes are adorable and well made and the customer service was fantastic (I actually have only had wonderful experiences with all the Etsy sellers I’ve dealt with).

Happy shopping! (And perhaps if you make handmade items and want to join Etsy, happy selling.)

Trooper is going to doggy day care. The idea is to let him play with the big dogs and get so tired that he ceases the Chewy ass kicking I’ve mentioned.

I dropped him off on my way to work this morning and then totally … and I mean not one more thought … forgot about him.

For some unknown reason at three minutes to 6:00 p.m. – closing time for Silver Maple Farm – I remembered. And completely panicked. It would take me more than three minutes to pack up and get in the car and at least 10 minutes to get to him.

After getting no answer at the kennel, I envisioned poor, lonely Trooper in the kennel all weekend … at a great cost to me (thankfully Stray Rescue is paying for the day care, but something tells me my negligence would not be covered). I jumped in the car and when I was almost there, was relieved to receive a call from the kennel checking to see if I was on my way.

After Trooper was safely snoozing in the passenger seat, I began to wonder if this – my undeniable scatterbrained-ness – isn’t one of the reasons I haven’t been graced with children (and ideally a husband to help me raise them).

Sure, I’d like to think it would be different when it came to a human being … my own flesh and blood no less … and not a dog. But honestly … I’m not so sure.