Perhaps I’ll Be a Late Bloomer Bride
I’m thankful that today was the day I happened to notice a blog my friend Marijean has featured and mentioned on her own blog no less than three times in the last six months … The Late Bloomer Bride.
I love Christmas, but even more so than car trouble and broken dishwashers … it reminds me of my aloneness. As I’ve said before, I believe things happen for a reason and that there is a reason I’m single and without kids, but I find it hard not to wallow just a little bit around the holidays. So today … the day the holidays are officially over and we unofficially start a fresh year … seems like the perfect day to find a blog that celebrates getting married later in life.
After reading about the LBB and a few of her current posts, I was attracted to the “Why an LBB?” category. LBB shares lots of great tidbits and advice, but I truly love the first post that popped up: An LBB’s Advice in Finding Love: Seek Happiness First, Then A Mate.
In the post, LBB suggests that women need to decide if they really want to be married. I found this very intriguing because I’ve lately begun to wonder if one of the reasons I’m still single is because I don’t really know what I want. This may come as a shock, but I’ve known ever since I was a kid that marriage isn’t necessarily my ultimate goal … despite the large collection of wedding magazines in my basement. Even though I adore looking at the pretty dresses, rings, flowers, favors, etc., I know that just because a couple is married doesn’t always mean they are committed to each other, in love … or even in like.
Another big question is kids … I used to know without a doubt that I wanted kids, but the older I get, the less sure I am. I definitely know having a child alone is not something I want to do … and I certainly would never want to settle in a relationship in order to shush the ticking of my ovaries.
I guess ultimately I want a man to love and who loves me … one who I can take care of and who will take care of me … one who makes me happier than I am alone and that I can make happier than he is alone … for the rest of our lives. I’ll leave the wedding and kids questions to fate, although I certainly wouldn’t turn my nose up at a pretty, princess-cut “commitment” diamond for me and a nice “commitment” band for him.
January 4th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
Great post! I like the LBB blog and what all she has to say. As someone who got married for the first time at 38, I wholeheartedly agree with everything she said there, especially all the parts about knowing whether YOU yourself are ready for all that it entails. Her numbered list on dating is great too. Know your dealbreakers and don’t cut anyone any slack. It should be easy peasy. That was the big difference with Michael over any other guys I dated before him–getting to know him was fun and relaxing. That’s how you want the whole shabang to be!
January 4th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Thanks Mamata! You give me hope
. And I’m glad you enjoyed the post … her other posts are really good too.
January 4th, 2010 at 9:34 pm
Hi, LBB here. Great thoughts. You are wise to separate the marriage from the wedding, for one.
Having had a rich single life (and now a wonderful husband), I tell all my single friends that (for me anyway) “singledom” and “marriedom” have equal (though different) benefits. So, love where you are. And, if you find someone to love who loves you back along the way, then even better.
I am delighted you are enjoying Late Bloomer Bride. Thank you for reading! I look forward to reading your blog, too.
January 4th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
Thanks Suzanne! I have often heard about the drawbacks of “marriedom” and even “parentdom” from my friends in those situations trying to tell me that I have it pretty good, but I love your more positive approach that they all have benefits and to enjoy where you are.
Looking forward to new posts and catching up on those I missed … I’ve read all the post on the current page (I am a good dancer, but too have issues with following … hmm?), as well as the “Why an LBB?” posts (am considering a move to Scandinavia
) and April and May 2009.
January 5th, 2010 at 9:10 am
Amber, Thanks for reading! I am enjoying Am..Musings’ blog, too. Have lots to catch up on. Do keep us posted on how you like Scandinavia. We are going in June 2011.