Am…musings

I recently reconnected with two former colleagues at an event. The conversation quickly turned to S. and my love life because one of them had seen my posts about him on Facebook. The other said … I bet you aren’t blogging about it because you like to keep your relationships private. I nodded because I hadn’t been blogging, but smiled to myself because I knew her reasoning wasn’t entirely true.

Yes … a little more than a year ago I took a short break from blogging because I was in a new relationship. True … I wasn’t very nice when I explained my absence in a post titled, It’s None of Your Business. At the time, I blamed it on the fact that the relationship was blossoming and I wanted to hold it close. In hindsight, I have to admit I was mum (not only on the blog, but also on Facebook) because I wasn’t sure about how he really felt about me.

With S. it’s different. There is no wondering … he tells me and shows me every day.

And being with him has been a revelation. Last year wasn’t the first time I’d found myself in a relationship where I wondered how the guy felt about me. I always knew something wasn’t right and often blamed it on complicated situations or emotions, and thought … maybe he’ll change. The truth is … it always ended with my gut being right … I was wondering and uncertain because they weren’t certain about me. For those of you wondering if someone cares about you … my advice would be to assume they don’t or can’t … and won’t. And know that you deserve someone who does.

I’m extremely grateful to have found someone who does and that I feel the same about. Now … just to find more time in the day to spend with him, work, take care of my house and … avoid more blogging breaks.

Last year around this time, I discovered Keller Farms corn. They only sell it on the day it’s picked so it’s incredibly fresh and delightful. If you live in the ‘Lou and like corn on the cob, it’s back in all its summer glory.

I’m back too … after a month and a half. Between my summer glory of working, vacationing and spending time with my man … time is at a premium. As much as I love blogging, it was the thing that had to give. I hope to stick with it now that I’m back because I definitely miss the writing and sharing recipes, pooch updates and love life scoop. (So as not to keep you hanging, things are going great with S., and he and I enjoyed some lovely grilled corn for dinner tonight. Yum!)

Hi there! Remember me? I apologize for falling off the face of the blogging earth. I do have some juicy news to share so hopefully you’ll forgive me for being gone so long.

As I peeked back at my last post just to see how long it’d been, I had to smile. As I’ve mentioned before, I’d begun to wonder if I was still single because I hadn’t truly decided what I wanted in a relationship. Then along came the Late Bloomer Bride’s amazingly beautiful quote about souls entwining and branches coming together to form a miracle of lace against the heavens. Reading it … then and now … takes my breath away and I decided instantly that was what I wanted in a relationship.

That evening I received a Facebook friend request from S. We went to the same high school and had lots of common friends, but I was pretty sure I didn’t know him. I typically ignore those requests, but for some reason accepted his. A day later S. sent a sweet message saying he wanted to get to know me if I would be interested … I was.

We had our first date a few days later … 12+ hours of fun, including NHRA drag races (the most unique first date I’d ever been on), dinner and hanging out with the neighbors (his idea). We had date No. 2 the following Wednesday, and have seen each other every day except one since then.

He’s amazingly sweet and thoughtful, and treats me like a queen. He’s also an awesome dad to a cutie-tootie 5-year-old son and a 16-year-old daughter, who he adopted when he married her mom. And he regularly makes me smile and laugh uncontrollably … in an “I’m laughing so hard I may hyperventilate” kind of way, which is one of the best feelings in the world.

We both agree we feel like we’ve known each other forever, even though today is our two week anniversary (he brought champagne and a sweet card). And while it might be a little early for branches forming a miracle of lace, I’m happy to shout from the tree tops that our souls are entwining quite nicely.

Being single and nearly 39, I try to have faith in things happening when they are meant to. But lately … especially when the funk hits, I wonder … should I have settled? The Late Bloomer Bride, Suzanne, posted a gorgeous quote on her blog and Facebook today. It articulates the kind of relationship I want, and … would be hard pressed to get by settling.

A portion of your soul has been entwined with mine. A gentle kind of togetherness, while separate we stand. As two trees deeply rooted in separate plots of ground, while their topmost branches come together, forming a miracle of lace against the heavens. ~Janet Miles

Also, this quote makes me smile because it reminds me that my standards … the ones that have kept me from settling … aren’t at all about looks, a job or money. It’s really personality and chemistry that do it for me … and I’m pretty sure only the right personalities and chemistry could create the kind of love and partnership described above.

Now, I just need to find the guy … with the right personality and chemistry, of course … that will allow our “souls to entwine.” Sigh.

I’ve been wallowing a little bit lately. My last post was way down in the wallow-dom, but I was smacked upside the head with a “things could be waaay worse” moment while reading my Glamour mag yesterday. The October issue featured a fun, somewhat irreverent article about a 27-year-old virgin. December’s letter to the editors were penned by a 29-year-old-virgin and a 32-year-old virgin. I am not at all judging these women for their choices, but THANK GOD I am not among their ranks. I imagine I’d either be a raging bitch or would have settled and married some moron … just for sex.

On a more serious note (not that virgins aren’t serious) … I also thought about a good friend of mine after my last post. She was married and then had to raise three kids on her own when her husband walked out (while she was pregnant with their third child – yeah, a total ass). In her experience, being truly alone … even in motherhood … was easier than being alone in their failing marriage. She said it was the worst feeling to have to brave life’s challenges on her own when her husband should have been facing them with her. I imagine that aloneness with an overwhelming sense of betrayal would be much worse, and I am thankful for this time it’s taking me to find the right man.

I am now Facebook friends with the first boy I ever kissed. I was in third grade and he was an “older man” … in fourth grade. We really didn’t stay too close of friends after that, although we were neighbors. But when the request came today it made me smile and I figured what the heck.

Then I got to thinking. I’m also Facebook friends with my very best kisser … and my very worst.

Hmmm … how many others? Thinking about it in the car on the way home, I came up with six total. And I was sort of right … one of them hasn’t actually made the Facebook leap, but I am friends with his wife (and if you’re curious, we kissed long before they even met).

Care to share your Facebook kissing stats?

P.S. My best kisser and my worse kisser are both married, which proves kissing is in the lips of the beholder.

At 6:15 p.m. Sunday, I should have been having drinks at my neighbors’. They’d called around 6 p.m., but I was on a mission to save the baby pumpkins from a senseless crime. See … a few of them were wounded with holes about the size of pencil erasers. Usually they can be used as decorations through Thanksgiving and I was afraid the ones with the holes would decay quickly.