Am...musings » dating

Sharing the Love Deets: This Blogging Break May Not Be What You Think

Amber — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 02:38:22 +0000

I recently reconnected with two former colleagues at an event. The conversation quickly turned to S. and my love life because one of them had seen my posts about him on Facebook. The other said … I bet you aren’t blogging about it because you like to keep your relationships private. I nodded because I hadn’t been blogging, but smiled to myself because I knew her reasoning wasn’t entirely true.

Yes … a little more than a year ago I took a short break from blogging because I was in a new relationship. True … I wasn’t very nice when I explained my absence in a post titled, It’s None of Your Business. At the time, I blamed it on the fact that the relationship was blossoming and I wanted to hold it close. In hindsight, I have to admit I was mum (not only on the blog, but also on Facebook) because I wasn’t sure about how he really felt about me.

With S. it’s different. There is no wondering … he tells me and shows me every day.

And being with him has been a revelation. Last year wasn’t the first time I’d found myself in a relationship where I wondered how the guy felt about me. I always knew something wasn’t right and often blamed it on complicated situations or emotions, and thought … maybe he’ll change. The truth is … it always ended with my gut being right … I was wondering and uncertain because they weren’t certain about me. For those of you wondering if someone cares about you … my advice would be to assume they don’t or can’t … and won’t. And know that you deserve someone who does.

I’m extremely grateful to have found someone who does and that I feel the same about. Now … just to find more time in the day to spend with him, work, take care of my house and … avoid more blogging breaks.

We’re Back: Me and the Awesome Corn

Amber — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:54:17 +0000

Last year around this time, I discovered Keller Farms corn. They only sell it on the day it’s picked so it’s incredibly fresh and delightful. If you live in the ‘Lou and like corn on the cob, it’s back in all its summer glory.

I’m back too … after a month and a half. Between my summer glory of working, vacationing and spending time with my man … time is at a premium. As much as I love blogging, it was the thing that had to give. I hope to stick with it now that I’m back because I definitely miss the writing and sharing recipes, pooch updates and love life scoop. (So as not to keep you hanging, things are going great with S., and he and I enjoyed some lovely grilled corn for dinner tonight. Yum!)

Another Reason to Love Facebook: Finding A Soul to Entwine With

Amber — Sat, 15 May 2010 23:39:37 +0000

Hi there! Remember me? I apologize for falling off the face of the blogging earth. I do have some juicy news to share so hopefully you’ll forgive me for being gone so long.

As I peeked back at my last post just to see how long it’d been, I had to smile. As I’ve mentioned before, I’d begun to wonder if I was still single because I hadn’t truly decided what I wanted in a relationship. Then along came the Late Bloomer Bride’s amazingly beautiful quote about souls entwining and branches coming together to form a miracle of lace against the heavens. Reading it … then and now … takes my breath away and I decided instantly that was what I wanted in a relationship.

That evening I received a Facebook friend request from S. We went to the same high school and had lots of common friends, but I was pretty sure I didn’t know him. I typically ignore those requests, but for some reason accepted his. A day later S. sent a sweet message saying he wanted to get to know me if I would be interested … I was.

We had our first date a few days later … 12+ hours of fun, including NHRA drag races (the most unique first date I’d ever been on), dinner and hanging out with the neighbors (his idea). We had date No. 2 the following Wednesday, and have seen each other every day except one since then.

He’s amazingly sweet and thoughtful, and treats me like a queen. He’s also an awesome dad to a cutie-tootie 5-year-old son and a 16-year-old daughter, who he adopted when he married her mom. And he regularly makes me smile and laugh uncontrollably … in an “I’m laughing so hard I may hyperventilate” kind of way, which is one of the best feelings in the world.

We both agree we feel like we’ve known each other forever, even though today is our two week anniversary (he brought champagne and a sweet card). And while it might be a little early for branches forming a miracle of lace, I’m happy to shout from the tree tops that our souls are entwining quite nicely.

A Quote to Make Single Girls Think Twice About Settling

Amber — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 01:48:07 +0000

Being single and nearly 39, I try to have faith in things happening when they are meant to. But lately … especially when the funk hits, I wonder … should I have settled? The Late Bloomer Bride, Suzanne, posted a gorgeous quote on her blog and Facebook today. It articulates the kind of relationship I want, and … would be hard pressed to get by settling.

A portion of your soul has been entwined with mine. A gentle kind of togetherness, while separate we stand. As two trees deeply rooted in separate plots of ground, while their topmost branches come together, forming a miracle of lace against the heavens. ~Janet Miles

Also, this quote makes me smile because it reminds me that my standards … the ones that have kept me from settling … aren’t at all about looks, a job or money. It’s really personality and chemistry that do it for me … and I’m pretty sure only the right personalities and chemistry could create the kind of love and partnership described above.

Now, I just need to find the guy … with the right personality and chemistry, of course … that will allow our “souls to entwine.” Sigh.

Things Could Be Worse … I Could Still Be a Virgin

Amber — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:17:22 +0000

I’ve been wallowing a little bit lately. My last post was way down in the wallow-dom, but I was smacked upside the head with a “things could be waaay worse” moment while reading my Glamour mag yesterday. The October issue featured a fun, somewhat irreverent article about a 27-year-old virgin. December’s letter to the editors were penned by a 29-year-old-virgin and a 32-year-old virgin. I am not at all judging these women for their choices, but THANK GOD I am not among their ranks. I imagine I’d either be a raging bitch or would have settled and married some moron … just for sex.

On a more serious note (not that virgins aren’t serious) … I also thought about a good friend of mine after my last post. She was married and then had to raise three kids on her own when her husband walked out (while she was pregnant with their third child – yeah, a total ass). In her experience, being truly alone … even in motherhood … was easier than being alone in their failing marriage. She said it was the worst feeling to have to brave life’s challenges on her own when her husband should have been facing them with her. I imagine that aloneness with an overwhelming sense of betrayal would be much worse, and I am thankful for this time it’s taking me to find the right man.

Kiss and Tell Facebook Style

Amber — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 02:04:52 +0000

I am now Facebook friends with the first boy I ever kissed. I was in third grade and he was an “older man” … in fourth grade. We really didn’t stay too close of friends after that, although we were neighbors. But when the request came today it made me smile and I figured what the heck.

Then I got to thinking. I’m also Facebook friends with my very best kisser … and my very worst.

Hmmm … how many others? Thinking about it in the car on the way home, I came up with six total. And I was sort of right … one of them hasn’t actually made the Facebook leap, but I am friends with his wife (and if you’re curious, we kissed long before they even met).

Care to share your Facebook kissing stats?

P.S. My best kisser and my worse kisser are both married, which proves kissing is in the lips of the beholder.

Smoking Out the Baby Pumpkin Murderers

Amber — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:43:52 +0000

At 6:15 p.m. Sunday, I should have been having drinks at my neighbors’. They’d called around 6 p.m., but I was on a mission to save the baby pumpkins from a senseless crime. See … a few of them were wounded with holes about the size of pencil erasers. Usually they can be used as decorations through Thanksgiving and I was afraid the ones with the holes would decay quickly.

I armed myself with this great stuff from Stampin’ Up! called Crystal Effects … it creates a water-like look on craft projects, but is also an amazing glue that dries crystal clear. I decided it be perfect to plug up the pumpkin holes and perhaps stop the decay.

Well, the holes were caused by nasty-ass worms … that were still in the pumpkins. They didn’t like the glue so much … probably because they couldn’t breathe and started poking their heads out. I was determined to “smoke out” the murderers and quickly ran for a reinforcement … a old pair of tweezers.

By 6:30 p.m. or so on Sunday I thought I had them all, but the glue wasn’t reacting well to the fresh pumpkin and I decided to let them dry out a bit.

Three of the pumpkins didn’t make it … victims of the terrible crime. But a few seemed to be fairing well. Then tonight when I went to glue them again … two of the little pumpkin murderers had survived. One went down easy, but the other wouldn’t budge. Layer and after layer of glue and it seemed to be able to stay just below the surface and still breathe. Finally, I got it.

Two of the pumpkins are still in critical condition. I’m hoping they will pull through. In the meantime, I am keeping a vigilant eye to make sure more murderers don’t prey on my bigger pumpkins.

A Sassy Sports T for a Girl with Curves

Amber — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:55:06 +0000

Last weekend, D and I went to the Cardinals game. Saturday, I met one of his brothers and a few of his friends for the first time at the Missouri vs. Illinois Arch Rivalry Game (me and eight guys, including two of his nephews). For both occasions I was hoping to find cute team shirts so I could show my spirit and still look stylish … not a crazy request for a date or for meeting the boyfriend’s family and friends.

Yes, I admit it … I need to lose a few pounds (ok maybe more than a few … no doubt thanks in part to the pretzel fairy). And while I’m not exactly overjoyed with my body, I still like to show off my curves. Of course, there are plenty of cute, sassy sports shirts out there, but for heaven’s sake, I’m not sure who they are made for. I swear the extra large in one of the brands made exclusively for women looks like it might be a regular size medium … and cut for someone with absolutely no chest whatsoever.

Being a crafty girl, I took matters into my own hands. I tried two options … first attempting to cut a fun (but shapeless) t-shirt into something more stylish. With direction from the tattooed Kat Von D, I started slicing on an old paint-splattered shirt. With a little more practice, I think the results would have been super cute, but not really appropriate for an afternoon football game (and I wasn’t even going for the crazy backless thing in Kat’s video). I definitely want to try it again though.

Next, I headed to my local craft store for iron-on rhinestone letters (and then … even though I hate to admit it … I headed to Walmart where I found them for half the price). I used a black shirt from last season in case the results weren’t stellar. It’s not too difficult, but a little nerve wracking … so no photos of the process. But I think it turned out well …

Birthday Gratitude

Amber — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 13:13:45 +0000

Last year, my birthday post was about dreading 37 … because of what I didn’t (and still don’t) have … a husband and kids. While I’m not overjoyed about 38, I’ve grown tired of worrying about what life is supposed to be. Honestly, if I could do it over again, I’d have to think long and hard about changing much … if it meant giving up any of the amazing experiences I’ve had and wonderful people I’ve met along the way.

To replace the dread this year, two recent blog comments … one from a friend since second grade (via Facebook) and one from someone I’ve never met (who has a blog I’ve been enjoying) … inspired me to make a list of the things I’m grateful for at 38 …

1. The love and support of and for the people in my life, including my family, my friends, my neighbors and D (Both of the inspirational comments were actually about D … basically to take it one day at a time and be thankful for each one. For an over-thinker like me, it’s not always easy, but I’ve been taking it to heart since they were posted.)

2. A job that I love … possibly the first I’ve had that I don’t dread heading to every morning … and that challenges me, as well as my wonderful coworkers and colleagues.

3. My ability to take pleasure and see the wonder in the small things in life … from playing with Chewy in the hose to experiencing a good coaster to watching my food processor slice a cucumber in about a nanosecond to seeing more than 20 deer playing in a farmer’s field (D’s family’s).

4. My health … it’s nothing to take for granted as I quickly approach 40.

5. The means to live comfortably in a cute little house with a car to get me around.

When I blow the candles out today, I’ll wish for many more days of gratitude.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Amber — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 01:58:09 +0000

The vegetable garden’s been looking pretty good, but I didn’t feel like I could officially consider myself a gardener until there were actual veggies. After diagnosing a problem with one of my plants as over-watering … in the evenings no less, D admonished me to stop watering so darn much. (D is the boyfriend by the way … seems so impersonal to keep calling him “the guy” or “the boyfriend,” but I’ll let him keep a little privacy.)

Because I wasn’t watering there was no real reason to go out there until today when I staked the tomatoes (with stakes D made for me … by hand … with a power saw … awesome and hot!!!). I also had to re-route a few pumpkin and cucumber vines that are trying to take over the world. And here’s what I found …

Now I’m officially a vegetable gardener!