Am…musings

Birthday Cupcake by fraley_tera on Flickr

It’d be pretty easy for me to wallow (like I did two years ago). I’m inches away from 40 … today marks my last birthday in my 30s. And I’m not what I expected to be … a do-it-all working mom with an awesome husband and two or three kids. But I have a few strong beliefs about the situation:

• Wallowing never did anyone any good (even if we all still fall into it every once and while).
• Gratitude is a beautiful and powerful thing.
• And like I said last year … if I could do these 39 years over again, I’d have to think long and hard about changing much … if it meant giving up any of the amazing experiences I’ve had and wonderful people I’ve met along the way.

So here’s what I’m grateful for this year …

• Giving and getting love – S. is still making me smile, laugh and feel loved every day. And there’s nothing like the feeling of someone freely accepting and being grateful for my love.
• Amazing family and friends – I’d never make it without the love and support of and for my parents, other family members and my friends, including my wonderful neighbors.
• Facebook – It might be odd to include on a birthday gratitude list, but this year Facebook brought me S. Plus I’m truly thankful to be able to stay in touch with people that likely wouldn’t be in my life without it.
• A job that’s more than paying the bills – Of course I have my moments, but overall I love what I do, where I do it and the teammates and clients that make it fun and rewarding.
• My health – This year did include two fibroid surgeries, but overall, I’m healthy, which I don’t take for granted.
• My house, my car and my stuff – It isn’t everything (which is why it’s last on the list), but I appreciate having the means to live comfortably.

Just like last year … when I blow the candles out today, I’ll wish for many more days of gratitude.

Yes … I know it doesn’t sound good, but it’s one of my favorite holiday side dishes … ever. The recipe was handed down from my grandfather’s family and it’s staple at all of our holiday celebrations. In fact, it was probably my sole source of protein at most family events growing up … we have sauerbraten at Christmas (gag … straight to the dog under the table while my grandfather was still alive and would have been furious if I’d refused to put in on my plate) and I’m not a big ham fan, which is of course the go-to Easter meat.

What’s to love about bean salad? The tangy mayo-based dressing is pretty tasty. And the crunch of the celery, onions and green peppers is satisfying (I belong to a family of picky, anal individuals … and I’m not so much when it comes to veggie chopping … so mom had to come over Friday night to practically mince them as required.)

My grandfather was the most meticulous of bean salad chefs until he passed away in the early 90s. My aunt took the helm after that, but asked if we could spread the wealth this year. The first time I ever saw the recipe was yesterday so I might be breaking some family rule by sharing it here … but I figure most of you won’t try it anyway so what’s the harm?

Uncle Kenny’s Red Bean Salad

4 cans red beans
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 sticks celery, finely chopped
2 green peppers (slice three rings for garnish; finely chop the remainder)
1 Tbsp. sweet pickle relish, plus juice
2 boiled eggs (cut one into quarters or thin slices for garnish; finely chop the remainder — love my Pampered Chef Egg Slicer for this!!!)
Lemon juice
3 Tbsp. mayonnaise or lite Miracle Whip
Salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

• Drain and rinse beans and place in large mixing bowl.
• Add onion, celery, green pepper and chopped egg.
• Add pickle relish and a little relish juice (about 1/2 tsp.); a little lemon juice (about 1/2 tsp.) and the mayo or Miracle Whip.
• Mix together, adding salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste. Let sit several hours or overnight for flavors to develop.
• Just before serving, lay green pepper rings on top, place quartered or sliced egg in middle of rings and an olive in the center and sprinkle with paprika (here’s a little proof of the picky, anal thing, huh?!?).

So … do tell … what’s your weird family recipe or tradition?

Saturday was the family Easter BBQ. It’s the second year we’ve celebrated Easter a bit early. My dad takes one of his classic Buicks to a car show every Easter Sunday, and we’ve found we’re a lot happier at work on Monday when we haven’t rushed dinner and stayed up too late cleaning up the mess on a “school night.”

This year, I tackled four dishes:

• The cucumbers, which I blogged about last Easter;
• Deviled eggs (I’m IN LOVE with this Emeril recipe, which appeals to the “heat” lovers in the crowd and also works for the wimps);
• A nameless layered dessert with chocolate pudding and cool whip; and
• Bean salad … the acquired taste I referred to in the headline. It was the first time I ever tried making this family holiday staple and it only turned out mediocre, but still good.

We’ve called the dessert “Better Than Sex” cake, which was always embarrassing as a kid … and now that I’m old enough to know better, I think it’s false advertising . The recipe I have is titled “Yummy Dessert” … ok, I ask, “What dessert really isn’t yummy?” But whatever you call it, it’s delightful. See the recipe below and feel free to make up (and please share) your own name or let me know if this recipe looks familiar and you have some great name for it.

I’ll share the bean salad recipe tomorrow. If you don’t like beans, definitely feel free to skip it. But if you do, but the thought of bean salad doesn’t sound appealing, I urge you to give it a look tomorrow and then decide.

Crust:
1 stick butter, melted in a 9X13 pan at 400 degrees
1 cup flour
1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts

Mix together in the pan and press to form crust on bottom of pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 to 12 minutes or until lightly brown. Cool.

First layer:
1 package cream cheese (I used reduced fat and it worked fine)
½ of a large Cool Whip (use the remainder for topping)
1 cup powdered sugar

Mix together (I used the big mixer; a regular mixer would also work). Spread carefully on bottom layer.

Second layer:
2 packages instant chocolate pudding
3 cups milk

Mix with wire whisk and let sit until thick. Spread over first layer.

Third layer:
Top with remaining Cool Whip and sprinkle with nuts or chocolate sprinkles (I went with the festive colored sprinkles for Easter).

My mom has a wonderful theory on relationships and old friends … that you will always have a bond with those who are meant to be in your life, even if you live apart, and whenever you see each other you will fall back into your relationship as though no time has passed.

The theory was put to a true test a year ago. Last Thanksgiving we traveled to Dallas to spend the weekend with my cousin Melissa, who we hadn’t seen in nearly 20 years, and her husband and 5-year-old son we’d never met.

As I mentioned on the eve of last year’s trip, I’m an only child and Melissa and I were like sisters as kids … weekend sleepovers, summer vacations, the same Christmas presents every year (matching clothes, roller skates and 10-speeds … gotta love the ‘70s!). As some friends … and I imagine even some siblings … do, we grew apart as we grew older. Then as a result of a little family drama that had little if anything to do with us, we completely drifted apart after 1990 or so.

After several visits with out-of-town friends last year, I blogged about mom’s theory. She’s always been right, and the theory rang true once again during our wonderful visit with Melissa and her family last year. This year, we are back again to celebrate Thanksgiving, and she and her family also visited us in St. Louis last summer.

Melissa and I also get a kick out of the fact that my mom’s theory is so right that we fell back into our old habit … matching shoes last year and the exact same boots and nearly matching shirts this year.

Last year, my birthday post was about dreading 37 … because of what I didn’t (and still don’t) have … a husband and kids. While I’m not overjoyed about 38, I’ve grown tired of worrying about what life is supposed to be. Honestly, if I could do it over again, I’d have to think long and hard about changing much … if it meant giving up any of the amazing experiences I’ve had and wonderful people I’ve met along the way.

To replace the dread this year, two recent blog comments … one from a friend since second grade (via Facebook) and one from someone I’ve never met (who has a blog I’ve been enjoying) … inspired me to make a list of the things I’m grateful for at 38 …

1. The love and support of and for the people in my life, including my family, my friends, my neighbors and D (Both of the inspirational comments were actually about D … basically to take it one day at a time and be thankful for each one. For an over-thinker like me, it’s not always easy, but I’ve been taking it to heart since they were posted.)

2. A job that I love … possibly the first I’ve had that I don’t dread heading to every morning … and that challenges me, as well as my wonderful coworkers and colleagues.

3. My ability to take pleasure and see the wonder in the small things in life … from playing with Chewy in the hose to experiencing a good coaster to watching my food processor slice a cucumber in about a nanosecond to seeing more than 20 deer playing in a farmer’s field (D’s family’s).

4. My health … it’s nothing to take for granted as I quickly approach 40.

5. The means to live comfortably in a cute little house with a car to get me around.

When I blow the candles out today, I’ll wish for many more days of gratitude.

One of the simplest recipes I have is my favorite. It’s my grandma’s recipe for cucumber salad. I’m making it tonight because we’re having Easter dinner this Saturday due to some scheduling conflicts next weekend. I’ve made cucumbers every Easter since my grandma passed away and my aunt was unceremoniously stripped of the duty a few years later when the cucumbers were so salty they were inedible.

I call the recipe simple not necessarily because it’s uncomplicated, but because it requires no real measuring and only two ingredients, minus the most basic spices – salt and pepper.

Although none are difficult, there are a few steps:
First, peel and slice cucumbers (I prefer the seedless English variety). I slice them in the food processor, which makes amazingly quick and pretty work of it … much to my delight (I guess it’s the simple pleasures in life).

Then, according to grandma, grab a handful of cucumbers, throw each handful in a bowl and salt them before adding the next handful. And … here’s where the psychoanalysis comes in. As a 9-year-old kid, I made dinner for the first time. It was potato soup, and after a few bites my dad jokingly likened it to wallpaper paste. It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but probably not the best thing to say to a girl who was proud of her first attempt at real cooking. I was crushed and poured over the recipe to figure out where I’d gone wrong. Ever since … while not necessarily anal about most things … I’ve been a meticulous cook. So … I layer the cucumbers carefully in the bowl, salting between layers to make sure they are evenly salted and perfect.

You can certainly try either way.

After they’re all in the bowl, stick them in the fridge, where they will “sweat” a good deal of their liquid.

After two to three hours, take handfuls out of the bowl and squeeze them over the sink to get as much liquid out as possible.

Throw them in a bowl (no anal-ness required for this step) and cover them with vinegar – plain old white vinegar, which I buy by the gallon because I also like to clean with it.

Top with pepper, stir and refrigerate. I usually do this a day or two in advance, which grandma’s recipe doesn’t call for, but I think it creates better flavors. And my dad … who complained about my first cooking foray … doesn’t like cucumbers so he won’t be enjoying this masterpiece.

My lovely mother Shar …

… and I are doing the diet I’ve mentioned together. This week we’re supposed to jump start it by sticking to a vegetarian menu as directed by our doctor. I called Shar earlier to whine a little because the diet is also lots of fruits and salads plus protein shakes, and I’m so darn cold today I just wanted something nice and warm for lunch. Here’s the conversation:

Shar: I know what you mean. We’re having tuna for lunch.
Me: Um … we can’t have that.
Shar: Why not? She said no meat. I’m not having meat.
Me: Yeah … this isn’t the Catholic version of vegetarianism. Fish is meat.

Sheesh!

I’m enjoying a relaxing stay at a B&B in New Hope, Pa. My aunt’s sister owns the quaint B&B and the fam is here to celebrate Christmas. This morning we ate the yummiest breakfast, which she typically serves to guests on the weekends. I’ve had a similar French toast casserole, but the challah and cream cheese make this one even more delicious. It would be perfect for a brunch or special breakfast.

FRENCH TOAST SOUFFLÉ

2 10-ounce loaves challah bread
16 eggs
6 cups milk
3 Tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 tub spreadable cream cheese

Topping:
4 Tablespoons butter, cubed
6 Tablespoons sugar
4 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Cut bread length wise two times. Spread with cream cheese. Cube bread. Place bread cubes in two greased 11X9 baking dishes.

Beat eggs, milk, sugar and vanilla, pour over bread.

Cover with aluminum foil and refrigerate for eight hours or overnight.

Remove from refrigerator 30 minutes before baking.

Dot with butter.

Combine sugar and cinnamon, sprinkle over top.

Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes or until knife inserted near the center comes out clean.

Let stand for five minutes. Serve with maple syrup.

At 10:15 a.m. this morning I opened the front door (the storm door isn’t a great barrier for the cold, but it lets light in, which I find worth the splurge on my heating bill). I had just rolled out of bed because I didn’t get to sleep until 2 a.m. I was still in my PJs, my hair was a bird’s nest of tangled curls. Behind me, the dining room table was strewn with a few half-empty glasses of wine and beer bottles … evidence of last night’s Christmas Cocktails party.

There was a car sort of in the middle of the street so I stood in the doorway a little longer than necessary. And here comes a woman. She was handing out Christmas cards … for the local Baptist Church.

It made me giggle. They probably don’t want me (or I figured I made her day … if she saves someone like me, her Saturday morning would be worth it).

By the way, despite the glasses and bottles, the party wasn’t too crazy (a lot of fun with some of the wonderful people in my life, but not too crazy). Although, I just had to post this picture of a drinking game that included … my mom!

The seventh leg of “the year of traveling to see important people I haven’t visited in a ridiculous amount of time” (a.k.a. the trips I’ve been meaning to take and finally did) commences tomorrow.

Here’s the history:
• The year started in Phoenix with college friend Aaron and his wife Jen. Last time I was there: 2003 … I think.
• I drove from Phoenix to L.A. to see Disney friend Scott. I don’t think I’d seen him since 1994-ish.
• Bean-town and Disney friend Nicole were the next stop. She moved there from Orlando in 2000-ish and I had never visited her there … or seen her since then for that matter.
• Up next: across the border to Alberta, Canada to visit my high school friend Chrissie (and the cute Canadian men!). She moved west (Canada, Seattle, then Canada again) after college in the mid ‘90s and I had never been to see her.
• I flew from Canada to Charlotte to spend time with Disney friend and roommate Natalie and her family. I hadn’t been to visit her since 2000.
• Chicago sort of counts … Nicole ran in the marathon and in an effort to make sure it wasn’t another eight years before I saw her again (sheesh!) I drove up to hang out

Tomorrow I’m headed to Dallas to visit my cousin. I’m an only child and we were like sisters as kids … weekend sleepovers, summer vacations, the same Christmas presents every year (right down to the same color and style roller skates and 10-speeds … it was the ‘70s!). Unfortunately, as we grew up, we grew apart. And then because of her move to Dallas, a little family drama and the general bustle of life, we haven’t seen each other since 1990 or so. I blogged about my mom’s wonderful theory on old friends after my visits with Chrissie and Natalie … I’m hopeful my cousin and I will prove her right once again.