Much like my “only when asked” rule at the office, I have guidelines when it comes to blogging … basically I only write about my dating life when it’s in the dumper. For one, I think the stories are funnier. For two, it’s a great way to vent about bad dates (or ok dates with bad names). And most importantly, I believe the details of a new relationship are very personal … i.e. none of your business.

While the title above might give the appearance that this post is laden with scoop … it really isn’t. Sorry guys. Things are going well with the amazing guy I’ve been dating for a few months. But a friend, and reader, recently asked me for dating site advice. I’ve only used Match.com, and despite the fact that I met Mr. Amazing on Match, I can’t say that I was overjoyed with the overall experience.

Do you have any dating site advice to share … either from your own experience or maybe a friend’s?

I lament over a note, taking hours to figure out the best wording to communicate what I’m thinking or feeling without scaring him away (back then, I thought boys would grown up someday, but honestly, I think the majority are still at the junior-high level when it comes to dealing with feelings). Then I pass the note to my friend … the Internet … and say will you please deliver this to him? And after he reads it and writes back, would you mind to bring his response to me?

Taking a step closer to the past, Match.com fits junior-high matchmaker to a “T” with their new Daily 5 feature. Here’s how it works: his friend … Match.com/the Internet … brings me a message. “My friend might like you,” the message says. “Are you interested? Check yes, no or maybe,” and I’ll let my friend know what you have to say.

Seriously, I feel like I’m in 7th grade all over again. The only thing missing is the crazy folding of the note … the more intricately you could fold a note in junior high, the cooler you were. I actually just found the “Amber” note fold on this site … and way back when it really was one of my favs!

My eyes are icy, determined slits level in the direction of the dining room table, saying the words I can’t say out loud directly to … my computer, an innocent enabler … and apparently an unwitting victim … of online dating.

This isn’t the first time. On many occasions I’ve expressed disappointment and irritation with the men I’ve met on Match.com via dirty looks leveled at this electronic box. Do you think it’s getting a complex from all the vicious stares? I tend to think it’s on my side … and in this situation would make him give me what I want so we’re all happy (ha!) if it could.

I’m an over-thinking, “what if” kind of girl so reaching that conclusion took some deliberation. Just today I asked a friend, “What if Prince Charming comes along during my break?” Her retort, “I hate to be the one to tell you, but Prince Charming only exists in fairy tales.”

Life … and my recent experiences … confirm that. And while the image of that kiss makes my heart flutter, it really isn’t the perfect fairly tale romance I’m looking for anyway. Nevertheless, I am also an optimistic kind of girl with high expectations who wants (and think she deserves) a man who feels this way about her … shameless. So while I’m taking a break, (to quote Billy again) I’m “keeping the faith” that we’ll find each other soon.

I’d like to keep some things private, but here are a few of the highlights …
• Kind
• Smart
• Patient
• Respectful of my dreams
• A true partner

In line with my power-of-thought belief, I try to stay positive about my “Match-capades” and other online-dating adventures. I’ve met a few … ok several … doosies in the year I’ve been on Match.com, but I try to think of them in terms of funny stories to tell friends … and maybe someday … the grandkids. I also look at them as opportunities to learn and refine the list.

Unfortunately, in the past seven days, I’ve uncovered three additions … one good, one funny and one that I thought would have been a given.

1. The good … confident. This is something, as an outsider, you just can’t fix. A person has to find confidence on their own and while I feel badly about pulling the plug, I’d rather not be part of the process.
2. The funny … not named Herb. (Here’s the post-date update …. He called and left a message. I called back and left a message. He called back … no message. And I’m thinking that’s the best I can do because I know in the end … as foolish as it is … I can’t get past it.)
3. The one I thought would have been a given … single/available. He lives out of town (thus really no big expectations) and came clean after about two weeks of e-mailing, but sadly after all … a girl gets her hopes up at hello.

I’ve sung the praises of Match.com … not because I’ve found true love … yet, but because it has helped me get past the obstacle of figuring out where to meet men.

However, Match is a unique beast when it comes to attraction. Instead of meeting someone in the flesh, you meet them in cyberspace, where attraction, rather than being revealed instantly, is slowly unraveled. It starts with his profile (and picture). Then it’s e-mails/IMs. A phone call usually, but not always, follows. The final step is meeting in person. Face to face, I’ve found, is the only way to really know for certain if the attraction is there.

My problem … as I told my friend Cory about eight months ago when he told me not to get my hopes up over a guy that was jacking me around … girls get their hopes up at hello. (At least I think it’s all girls, but maybe it’s me. Ladies?)

Unfortunately, with some guys it can take weeks (with one it took a month!) to transition from e-mailing/IMing to meeting in person. By then, I’m always a little invested. And when it doesn’t work, I’m a lot deflated … even if it’s me that doesn’t feel the attraction (as it was today).

I was hoping for an ogre. He isn’t. He’s also a very, very nice guy. And nice absolutely makes a difference in my book.

Of course, I did have a good giggle on the phone with Marsha on the way to Harpos where Herb and I met. Also, hysterical laughing ensued during my drive home as I thought about H-E-R-B. And … I grinned all the way to the bathroom after the cute guy at the table next to us asked me (while Match-Herb was in the bathroom) if we were on a first date and for some reason I felt the need to share my name dilemma. (And here I’ll interject with another Damn It … where the heck are the cute boys asking me questions when I’m not on a date??? And couldn’t Match-Herb have taken a little longer to get back from the bathroom so the cute boy and I could have talked longer? Seriously?!?)

Despite the laughter (and the cute boy), I kind of like you-know-who. But, obviously, I’m still a little hung up on the name. Now what?

*Keith (and Jadea who noticed Keith’s funny comment), the rogue “n” the title is just for you!

I recently received a wink from hrad—. His profile was interesting so I sent him an e-mail. Turns out … much to my dismay … the “h” stands for Herb.

Before you go accusing me of having something against the Herbs of the world, let me say … my dad’s name is Herb.

My dad is a lovely man and a great dad, but … Herb? It’s not like Bob or Mike … I don’t really know any other Herb’s and I’m not sure I’m ready to date one.

After several days of waffling I got over it enough to return Match-Herb’s e-mail. He replied with his phone number (typical for guys who don’t like to type). It took a few more days and LOTS of friendly goading from my neighbor to call him.

He seems nice and we had a fairly good conversation, but honestly, I can’t stop laughing every time I think about H-E-R-B. Sending him e-mails … dialing his number … writing this post. I start to giggle and eventually I’m hysterically laughing … the kind of laughing that make you feel a little silly if you’re doing it all by yourself.

Of course, if I could limit the laughing to when I’m alone, it might be ok, but I’m thinking the giggles may become uncontrollable if Match-Herb and I go on a date. And I’m pretty sure I AM NOT going to be able to kiss him.

Yeah, I think this one might be doomed from the start.