Am…musings

When I left Orlando to return to St. Louis nine years ago, I wondered if I’d miss all the magic of the theme parks. There are times when that is the case, but I think plenty of magical things can be found in our lives everyday.

Yesterday morning I was treated to a magical site in my dining room. The sun was hitting a candle holder on my dining room table just right, and it created a star field on the walls and ceiling.

The candle holder itself, which is iridescent, also looked gorgeous in the morning light.

And honestly, it may have made me smile even more than the magical sights in Orlando because it was such an unexpected, pleasant surprise.

Saturday’s baked apple dessert transformed nicely into a healthy, heartwarming breakfast. After perching the lightly chopped apples on top of the oatmeal (made with milk … it’s the only way to go despite what the oatmeal container says), I added a few extra walnut and some brown sugar. Yum!

St. Louis experienced its first “real” snowfall of the season this week – about five inches on Thursday. I decided it was the perfect occasion to try my hand at a something I’ve never made … vegetable beef soup.

We have a family recipe … my grandma used to make oxtail soup (yes, as in from the tail) and now my dad makes it. It’s very tasty, but I’m thinking me making it will be the end of me eating it … you have to pick the meat from the tail, and I can be a bit squeamish when it comes to stuff like that.

My friend Kelly, who is an awesome cook, brought me some amazing vegetable beef soup when I was recovering from my first surgery in October and kindly shared the recipe. It’s very easy to make and perfect for a cold day.

Kelly Gregoire’s Beef Soup
Olive oil
1 beef soup bone (with a little meat on it)
½ pound of beef (rump or sirloin roast) in one big hunk
1 small bag of frozen mixed veggies with lima beans (I actually used two bags)
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
2 medium potatoes, peeled and chopped
1 -15 oz can tomato sauce
6 beef bouillon cubes
9 cups water
½ cup quick barley
Salt and pepper
1 Tbsp. garlic powder

• Pour a little olive oil into a large stock pot and heat over medium heat.
• When the oil is hot, add the soup bone and beef and sear one side until brown, then turn the meat to sear other side while adding onion and raw potato; stir frequently until the veggies get a little sear themselves.
• When meat is brown on both sides, add tomato sauce, water, bouillon, garlic, salt and pepper.
• Bring to a boil, then add the frozen veggies.
• Bring to a boil again, then add the barley.
• Simmer for about an hour.
• Remove the meat and bone out, cutting the meat in small pieces and adding back into the soup.

Makes 8 to 10 servings

I served it for dinner and dominos with the neighbors last night. A simple tossed green salad and fresh baked bread rounded out the meal. Bread from scratch is actually something still haven’t made. This was frozen Rhodes dough, which I highly recommend.

For dessert … piping hot baked apples with cinnamon ice cream. The ice cream was fantastic, but if you skip it, the apples are very tasty and healthy as they have no added fat and only a touch honey for sweetness. The recipe is here on Mother Rimmy’s Cooking Light Done Right.

By Octal Kahn on Flickr

As I’ve admitted, I’m a bit of an overthinker, always critically thinking through scenarios and coming up with all the possible outcomes … good or bad. To some, it may appear that I’m a bit negative. The reality is it helps me figure out solutions to possible pitfalls or to decide if they are really as catastropic as they seem. Then I let it go and positively forge ahead. I also truly strive to keep negativity out my general thinking as I’ve mentioned before.

That’s why I love a fresh perspective. My favorite thus far is a client who shocked me with “win the lottery” when I was expecting “hit by a bus.” See … she chooses to say “in case I win the lottery,” instead of (the terribly negative when you really think about it) “in case I get hit by a bus.” I love it and now say it too.

The Late Bloomer Bride, Suzanne, recently provided a great (and I thought post-worthy) fresh perspective in the comments on last week’s post about her blog. Here it is: Having had a rich single life (and now a wonderful husband), I tell all my single friends that (for me anyway) “singledom” and “marriedom” have equal (though different) benefits. So, love where you are. And, if you find someone to love who loves you back along the way, then even better.

My neighbor and I have a joke that it’s “reason #XXXX” for me not to have kids any time one of her teenagers does something stupid. I also have plenty of friends and family (including my mother) who will complain about their spouses and say, “Do you really want one?”

I know everyone means well with these comments, but they’ve always fallen flat with me because I know despite the heartaches or issues, most would choose to do it all over again. And comparing their negatives with the negatives of singledom certainly didn’t make me feel any better. Much like the lottery comment, I love Suzanne’s comment and plan to keep it in my thoughts AND share it with my friends when they complain about their kids or husbands .

I partook at one of my favorite Chinese restaurants tonight. When it comes to fortune cookies, I’m not a big fan of the philosophical fortune, but tonight’s was actually pretty good … particularly at this start of a fresh new year:

The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything.

And the restaurant is Lemay Wok in South County in the ‘Lou (on the lower level of the area where Sam’s is). It’s a bit of a hole in the wall (although always clean), but the food is yummy and the service is always wonderful!

By Jonathan Gayman on Flickr

I’m thankful that today was the day I happened to notice a blog my friend Marijean has featured and mentioned on her own blog no less than three times in the last six months … The Late Bloomer Bride.

I love Christmas, but even more so than car trouble and broken dishwashers … it reminds me of my aloneness. As I’ve said before, I believe things happen for a reason and that there is a reason I’m single and without kids, but I find it hard not to wallow just a little bit around the holidays. So today … the day the holidays are officially over and we unofficially start a fresh year … seems like the perfect day to find a blog that celebrates getting married later in life.

After reading about the LBB and a few of her current posts, I was attracted to the “Why an LBB?” category. LBB shares lots of great tidbits and advice, but I truly love the first post that popped up: An LBB’s Advice in Finding Love: Seek Happiness First, Then A Mate.

In the post, LBB suggests that women need to decide if they really want to be married. I found this very intriguing because I’ve lately begun to wonder if one of the reasons I’m still single is because I don’t really know what I want. This may come as a shock, but I’ve known ever since I was a kid that marriage isn’t necessarily my ultimate goal … despite the large collection of wedding magazines in my basement. Even though I adore looking at the pretty dresses, rings, flowers, favors, etc., I know that just because a couple is married doesn’t always mean they are committed to each other, in love … or even in like.

Another big question is kids … I used to know without a doubt that I wanted kids, but the older I get, the less sure I am. I definitely know having a child alone is not something I want to do … and I certainly would never want to settle in a relationship in order to shush the ticking of my ovaries.

I guess ultimately I want a man to love and who loves me … one who I can take care of and who will take care of me … one who makes me happier than I am alone and that I can make happier than he is alone … for the rest of our lives. I’ll leave the wedding and kids questions to fate, although I certainly wouldn’t turn my nose up at a pretty, princess-cut “commitment” diamond for me and a nice “commitment” band for him.

OK … I’m scheduling this to post while I’m recovering from my surgery. I prefer to post things real time, but I wanted to squeeze in one last post from my December Glamour in December, and this is pretty much it.

First Lady Michelle Obama was another Woman of the Year. Whatever your politics I think some of the advice that she shared in an interview with Katie Couric is worth hearing:

“I have always tried to put my kids first, and then … put my self a really close second, as opposed to fifth or seventh. One thing that I’ve learned from male role models is that they don’t hesitate to invest in themselves, with the view that, if I’m healthy and happy, I’m going to be a better support to my spouse and children.

“All we can do as women is make the best decisions for us. And that includes everything from how you look to how you dress to whether you choose to stay at home or work when you have kids. All those decisions are so personal, and we have to start with finding what brings us joy and what brings us our own individual confidence. And if we’re feeling good with those choices, then it makes what everybody else has to say less important.

“Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? That’s the advice I would give to women: Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn’t know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.”

In my last post about tomorrow’s surgery I talked about how my prep was going to be like a fast at a fancy spa. Umm … not!

I imagine at a fancy spa, I’d have an awesome (hopefully sexy) chef named Sven (I love men who can cook) creating healthy juice smoothies and other fast-friendly concoctions. Unfortunately, the Slurpee for lunch and beef broth and Jell-O for dinner at my “spa” haven’t been exactly satisfying … and there certainly wasn’t a “Sven” serving them to me.

Plus (as Val suggested in the comments Monday) spas should offer foot massages and lavender scented baths. I don’t see that happening here.

I also envision that spas that offer fasting are mostly found in gorgeous, warm locations. That is absolutely not the case at this “spa.”

But the real reason this spa sucks … the nasty-ass bottle of magnesium citrate I had to drink about five hours ago and its results.

New Year’s Eve has never been particularly high on my holiday list. I always have a great time, but it seems like the hype and expectations are usually much higher than the reality … which tends to make it a bit of let down, no matter how much fun I have.

This year my expectations are pretty low. I anticipate hanging out with my parents, sleeping lots and taking copious amounts of prescriptions drugs.

What? Well … it seems I’m a bit of a withholder when it comes to health info. When I finally told you about my fibroid surgery (seven days after it happened), I wasn’t entirely forthcoming. I said “all went fairly well,” but didn’t elaborate. Well … “fairly well” meant there was a possibility I might need a second surgery. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that … and figured why worry you needlessly or bore you with the details.

So here’s the scoop … when they went into remove the fibroids, they found endometriosis and removed what they could. But some of it was adhered to places it shouldn’t be and I wasn’t prepped for that surgery (ok, yes … I’m withholding again, but this time, you won’t be hearing about it later … it’s just a little too gross and personal to share). The verdict at the time was to wait and see how I was feeling … sometimes women can have endometriosis without even knowing it, as I did.

Unfortunately, a majority of the pre-surgery pain returned. I’d also met my very high deductible this year. I figured the endometriosis wasn’t going to get better … and given that I’d already invested so much into my health this year, it just seemed to make sense to have the second surgery.

I’m told the recovery time will be a fraction of the last surgery. And although it sucks that my (and my parents’) New Year’s will be ruined, at least I’ll have the extra days off work to bounce back. And the surgery prep, which starts Wednesday morning, will be like a fast at a fancy spa … perfect for recovering from the Christmas and pre-Christmas gluttony.

December, of course, was a crazed month. But I still have a few days to fit in a couple of wonderful excerpts from my December Glamour. I found this one particularly inspiring … a poem I’d never seen from another Woman of the Year … Maya Angelou. Here it is:

Phenomenal Woman
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.